OH SHIT THERE’S A BLOG HERE

Haven’t put on my Amos glasses in a while. For that, I deeply apologize.

The media cannot wait, though, and it has been a seriously interesting start of the summer in terms of movies. Since The Watchmen this past March, I’ve spent a good portion of my money on a good grip of movies. I’m starting to see a pattern as I ease into this full-time grind, where movies coming out try to instill “Summer” feelings as opposed to “Spring” feelings. Example, The Hangover is a summer movie, while I Love You, Man is a spring movie. (Never mind, that’s crazy don’t listen to me.) But what I want to discuss is 3D movies since my highlights of this year was Coraline and Up. First of all, isn’t implementing simple perspective on the big screen enough for a sense of three dimensions, a.k.a depth? That would be fine in my book, cuz in the end, you are just watching a flat screen. Make a cube of moving hologram images and that will be a 3D “movie.” People would be sitting around it, and going to movies would be akin to going to a concert. Or I dunno, actually be in a movie. (That’s as 3D as it gets. Are you not entertained??!)

Soooo…I watched Up in both its 3D and un-3D incarnations. (I know, I know. I had to find out!) I think I can see now where 3D can be relevant. A movie like Up goes through a lot of different settings. It moves through decades, and if that wasn’t enough, the movie also brought you to South America. What Pixar wanted you to pay attention to was the environment. In 3D, I got the sense of what Mr. Frederikson wanted in the first place, utter peace. His house hovering over the a thick layer of clouds extending to all horizons  was immersive. I really could live in that scene forever. And that was only one of the scenes that exhibited something that animated movies have so much potential in portraying: sheer scale. The number of balloons needed to lift a house off the grid, the size of a dirigible holding some of the rarest fossils on Earth, the difference of a small house among growing sprawl, and how small a house really looks when on top of a tall waterfall.

This movie really Jamba’d my juices. I’m pretty excited about what animated movies might look like in the future. One suggestion, the 3D glasses really do get in the way. When watching Up not in 3D, I appreciated the details I saw in my peripherals, while in 3D, you’re forced to shift from vantage point to vantage point because the 3D effect really just makes your eyes shift focus. You don’t really have time to appreciate the scenery. (On a design perspective, constantly changing focus might be tiring to viewers. Maybe 3D films of the future will have to settle with 1 hour or shorter films with less substance and more gimmicks.) 3D should be about scale, it’s so simple yet blows minds with a real 3rd dimension.

FRIGGIN WATCH ALL OF THESE. NOW.

The always interesting Geekstir.com just posted CHARACTER PROFILE TRAILERS for X-Men Origins: Wolverine.

They’re short. They’re sweet. They’re awesome.

p.s. I admit I had to Wikipedia John Wraith… Black Eyed Peas in the house.

p.p.s. I believe I speak for many nerds when I say that I’m disappointed with Deadpool’s appearance. I hope this will be rectified at some point.

Oh Twitter, you tease

Being on Twitter is really paying off, lookie who I found:  the Jon Favreau. And one of his most recent tweets? That it’s Mickey Roarke’s first day on the set of Iron Man 2. Yeesh, Marvel Studios is really making moves, huh? 2 big-budget comic book films in 2 years. AWESOME.

Initially circling around the plot of the terrorist The Mandarin, it seems the plot has deviated and Mickey Roarke will play the villain role of Whiplash/Backlash or Crimson Dynamo, or something. Speculation is all I’s is. Backlash would make sense because he’s someone like Tony Stark, except less lucky. Just as brilliant, Backlash takes the criminal underground shortcut as he augments himself with cybernetic tentacles (Omega Red-style) with the help of rival billionaire weapons manufacturer, Justin Hammer, Hammer Industries. It would be interesting to see a bitter Roarke choking the cheeky Tony Stark with metal tentacles. [giggles]

This is all just hearsay, but nowadays hearsay is getting a lot of attention as moviemakers pay close attention to the public (through the all-powerful Internets) for a film’s direction. What do you think the plot for Iron Man 2 should be? Personally, I would love the direction of the all-powerful Stark industry being threatened with just-as-brilliant criminals with what could be ghetto-tech (but effective tech) and bad intentions, it could make for a great movie.

Zombie Paralysis, aka Hooray for Me!!

The Zombie Research Society’s blog just posted in response to a question I asked them, about whether or not a zombie can be paralyzed.

And I’m not one to gush, but they acknowledged my theory, calling it the Morlock Theory of Zombie Paralysis. Ah, who am I kidding, I’m as giddy as a friggin’ jawa in a scrapyard right now! If there’s one thing nerd’s love, it’s being validated by fellow nerds… I mean, researchers.

If you haven’t heard of the ZRS blog, they have GREAT posts about all things zombie. It’s a must read for fellow undead-heads. Check it out!!!

Street Fighter

I am hereby awarding Street Fighter the Cultural Icon of the year award, simply because it serves as a complete symbol of our multi-media generation. Nowadays icons have to push through tons of media avenues just to get through to ears and eyes connected umbilically through the Internet, print, and television so as a franchise, I believe Street Fighter did it right. Starting with the idea of an arcade fighting game, who’d a thunk that a crazy idea like turning your joystick in circles twice (the infamous double fireball) and a pushing the punch button could magically result in the emotional equivalent that could only be attained by yelling “HADOOOOOKENNN” loudly would be soo satisfying? It’s like the metaphor of a fireball emitting from our humble hands is what the human race yearned for this whole time…

For Street Fighter, it’s all about tradition, and given the popularity of Street Fiytah 4, it’s ’bout to stay that way. I’m not going to even mention the movie that came out this year, that doesn’t count. Have they lost their mind? No, only their balls. Good thing they make up for it with good looking SF4 fireballs.

Max Brooks: The Zombie Guru

If you are one of the legions of zombie nerds (or simply would like to join our ranks), then Max Brooks is definitely a name you should know.

Brooks is author of both The Zombie Survival Guide, the definitive text on practical anti-zombie tactics, and World War Z, a collection of eyewitness accounts of the (fictional) zombie apocalypse, hands down two of my favorite books ever.

“Does he seriously believe in zombies??” scoff the skeptics and normies and unimpressed-girls-who-would-rather-not-talk-to-nerds. Of course not. But he takes the classic zombie horror story and treats it with such insight, imagination, and meticulous attention to detail that he has expanded the genre into an immersive, grand-scale fictional (or rather, hypothetical) world. And THAT, my friends, is something the brotherhood of the Skull and Spectacles absolutely respects.

Zombie fever may be the house that Romero built, but with Brooks spearheading, the movement has gone epidemic.

Conventions for Normies: A Pro’s Guide to Cons

I am not a “Pro” by any means (i’ve only been to a handful of conventions), but the play on words was too good not to use. Without further abullshit, here are some tips.

1) Register online. If Fandango bags have taught me anything, it’s that it’s better to buy your tickets online.  it’s cheaper, and you’re safe if passes sell out.

2) Use Public Transportation. Looking for parking in the city on a regular day is like trying to buy a single candy bar at Costco. Looking for parking on convention day is like trying to buy a  single candy bar at fat camp.

3) Choose your party. I find groups of 1-3 ideal. Big groups are fine for going to panels or meeting up for lunch, but you WILL get split up on the exhibition floor. There’s just too much to see. And a fellowship of nine will get antsy waiting while one dude looks through 1/2 price graphic novels (i.e. me).

4) Plan around big panels. At WonderCon, Cas asked me “How do you know which panels are good?” Which I realize is a pretty good question. Check the con’s programming ahead of time on the website. Look for panels about big upcoming movies or major network TV shows. Another dead giveaway? look for panels where the cast will show up. The biggest names in the comic book industry still can’t draw a crowd like that-hot-chick-from-that-one-show.

5) Line up early. Exactly how early is hard to judge.  Smaller panels may have no line at all, while the showstoppers warrant at least an hour (Maybe 2, or MORE if you’re at the San Diego Comic-Con waiting for a BIG panel). A good tip: if you REALLY want to make sure you have a seat for a panel, show up for the panel right before it, and just stay put when the room clears.

6) Generally, Saturday is the big day. Sunday, not so much. Expect to be surfing panels on saturday. Sunday’s a good day to shop. Some vendors will start dropping prices as sunday comes to a close, but if there are any shirts or limited supply items you want to buy, do NOT wait til the last second (this includes t-shirts. they probly won’t drop too much in price anyway).

I know this is way late for WonderCon. So just consider it crazy early for Comic-Con.

any tips to add? corrections? questions? B-BOY CHALLENGES??? comment, my brothers and sisters.

more on top five

this whole picking mutants to copy thing is too damn fun. the combo possibilities are endless.

Marrow + Gambit + Quicksilver + Domino = Marrow’s power lets me create throwing weapons out of bone, Gambit’s power charges them with explosive energy, Quicksilver’s let’s  me throw them at super speed, and Domino’s “luck” power means they’ll never miss.

Bishop + Cyclops + Multiple Man = I can create clones, have them all hit me with optic blasts, which i’ll absorb using bishop’s power, then release it all as one huge blast and like, i dunno, destroy the moon or something.

Multiple Man + Forge+ Quicksilver +Kitty Pryde + Mystique = I could multiply myself, use Forge’s power to invent and build millions of toys, visit every house in the world at super speed, phasing through the walls and leaving the  presents, shapeshifting to look like Santa while i do it.

…yeah i guess that last one’s not very super-heroic. but it’s still kinda awesome.

Who’s in YOUR Top Five?

If you’re a Marvel fan, even a casual one, then I strongly recommend the series, Exiles. A team assembled from different alternate realities hops from dimension to dimension, completing (sometimes INSANE) missions to repair the fabric of reality.

Anyhoo, I bring it up because there’s a character called Mimic, who can copy the powers of five mutants at a time. The catch is that each power is only have as strong as the original mutant’s, but eegads man, you get to choose FIVE!

If anything, this opens the floor for delightfully nerdy conversations, which, really, is what i’m here for. Which five would YOU choose?

Mimic, aka Calvin Rankin, begins the series with the powers of Wolverine, Cyclops, Angel, Colossus, and Beast.

Personally, I feel like Jean “I’m -the-most-badass-psychic-in-the-universe-and-yet-I-still-manage-to-die-repeatedly” Grey would be too obvious a choice. To some extent, Professor X too. The fun is in thinking outside the box.

My five: Cannonball, (cuz if you’re gonna fly, might as well choose the flying indestructible guy); Rogue’s energy/power stealing (kind of the Mimic equivalent of wishing for more wishes), Nightcrawler’s teleportation (and trademark “BAMF!” sound effect… which i personally believe is also an acronym for Bad Ass Mother Fucker); Wolverine’s claws and healing factor (I know what I said about the obvious, but shut up, i couldn’t help myself); and finally Jamie Madrox, aka Multiple Man, so i could literally become a one man army… of teleporting, power-stealing, flying wolverines.

Post your own list in the comments! You KNOW you’re gonna think of one anyway. might as well share with the rest of the class.

Watchmen Review: Because we can’t NOT do one

A funny thing happens when you talk about film adaptations and say “The book was better.” People respond with dismissive groans and/or knowing nods, possibly because THIS HAS AND WILL BE SAID ABOUT EVERY FILM ADAPTATION EVER.

I’ll try to be brief, and hopefully original, as there are probably millions of Watchmen reviews floating around.

The question of adaptations is never “did the source survive the translation?” but rather which parts, which pieces survived? and the answer this time around is a LOT. Whole scenes, lines, and details right down to Rorschach’s handshake are lifted from page to screen. Good on ya, Snyder. Fanboys can only dream of loyalty like this.

Adapting something to film is a game of shortcuts, and Watchmen executed shortcuts well. Condensing the backstory and history into the opening montage, consolidating the MANY flashbacks of the story, certain plot adjustments… it worked. i’m not thrilled about anything being cut, changed, or excluded, of course, but it worked. in the end, the plot felt whole, made sense, tying its loose ends. you can argue that the character’s story arcs felt rushed, but this is possibly only in comparison to the graphic novel (as my geek elitism peaks through).

Action and fight scenes are one area i think the film actually improved on the source material, which was pretty sparse in said department. and seeing the characters animated and in motion was a whole different experience, be it Rorschach’s agility, Night Owl’s gutteral brutality, or Ozymandias’ graceful-yet-deadly speed.

The soundtrack was hit or miss. Bob Dylan in the intro was fitting, but that “Hallelujah” scene in the OwlShip… just weird.

All in all, it was a great film, and i’d recommend it in a heartbeat. as my friend Cas would say, “It’s no Dark Knight.” but it IS a visually stunning, satisfying movie, and a refreshingly loyal abridgement of the Watchmen story.

and now i pass the mic…your thoughts??